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i hate that thing you do!

May. 20th, 2005 | 11:46 pm
mood: sad sad

hmm.. i dont kno what to do i love my friends but i dont like the certian things they do.. if they didnt do thoes certian things i would be a lot happier i just dont kno what to do! its either dont have friends at all or be miserable... hmm either way it sux for me so fuk it all!!!!!!!!!

and i feel like ppl lie to me all the time and that im just not wanted sometimes!

spring break!

Apr. 29th, 2005 | 12:56 am
mood: numb numb

spring break isnt soo great started off really really bad and its just making my whole week kinda shitty bc im =[ hopefully things will change bc i kno i gotta change!... idk im just not a party person i dont like bein around so many pplz and everyone just wants to party all week and idk drinkin is good but i hate it when theres 890752890373 million ppl.. o well idk its not soo bad i just wish i coulda done things i dont normally do!!

im sooo excited im gettin my 6flags season pass 2morrow woohoo[(finally)]!! then i really wanna go to 6flags like saturday!! that would be mega awesome bc i havent been there since i was mad small and couldnt go on any rides!!

well idk i dont like this livejournal shit anymore im too hooked on myspace lol =] tootles =] love yaz!~!

fuK 4/20!!!

Apr. 20th, 2005 | 02:26 pm
mood: bitchy bitchy

im mega bored! 2day sux so i am stayin home dont feel like being with anyone they are all just gettin high and that bores me!!
well 2day i cut 6/7 and 8 and i went to burgerking with michelle lol it was fun i just hope i dont get caught i dont think i will i had a sub =]

well now im home im so happy i finaly got early release after 3 marking periods =]

well im so bored and i dont kno what to talk talk about so im just gunna get off and sleep then go shopping bc i have no cloths =]

(no subject)

Apr. 10th, 2005 | 06:20 pm
mood: giddy giddy

Im at Lindsayz!!!! w000h00=]
Dana Jess Lindz Tyler and Dan are here...
we are having fun and y0ur n0t!! =]

danaaaaa issss awesomeeeeee - and i <3 her

Jess is kissing Dan!!

Lindsay is awesome at DDR and y0ur n0t!!

Tyler is b0bbing his head t0 the DDR music?

and im gettin the fuck off this!!!


Jan. 24th, 2005 | 01:26 am
mood: stressed stressed

hmm.. again soo confused but then again i kno what i want but i have my fears...

idk i was thinking i really want to get out of here and that mayb i should go away to college.. i mean i will miss everyone but i just think its best for me... somthing is always tellin me to get out of here!... but then again if i go away im gunna have to stay at college and i have a fear of people im an only child i cant live with other people so that would be bad.. unless i dont kno... im so confused bc i wanna go away but the things that are stoping me is i cant live with people and im kinda scared to go to college... i mean iv never been on my own my parents were always doing things for me... which i wish they didnt so much yea i love it but now im scared to do anything on my own... like get a job, go to college, things like that.. i mean on top of that my biggest fear is talking to people so that doesnt help anything!.. im trying my best to work on that and get over my fear but idk i just hope i can do it before its too late.. idk im just soo stressed that im taking all my anger out on the wrong people and i realize that i do but i just cant help it iv tryed but its not working... iv just been giving my parents the biggest attitudes lately and i kno they dont deserve it but i dont kno what to do im so confused lately.. i just want to runaway from everything.. i kno thats not good but i really dont kno what to do anymore.. i think all the time of what i could do to make myself happy but nothing works.. so i fee like im stuck in a giant hole and cant get out ever... i feel like im fukin up really bad.. i mean i havent sent any college applications out bc im soo scared.. i mean i kno i dont have grades or anything for college... iv done nothing that would make me look good... and even if i do go i dont think i could get through it.. i mean i cant even get through high school.. i kno college is diff but it just feels like this big thing i cant do idk... i mean in my head i could plan out my life but i kno when i go to do it its not gunna be that easy and im scared im scared i cant do it and im scared ill just fail in life... i just wanna stop being scared and do what i want to do! i feel like its my parents fault im like this but i dont want to blame them they only tryed to help me through everything i guess i just took advantage and now im stuck =( well idk i guess i could always get a job where my dad works and stay in this shit hole!

(no subject)

Aug. 20th, 2004 | 12:14 am
mood: sick sick

hmm.. idk nothin 2 exciting has happend? i guess thats just my life lol.. idk i was hoping this summer id get to do more fun shit but i didnt do much!!

idk i just am sick of people in general... no1 cares about nething and everyone fuks ya over and theres a whole lotta 2 faced people and idk it gets me soo heated!!!

ahh im soo scared school is starting soon and i dont want to go back but i want to do really good and pass with really good grades but this is Jakki we are talkin about, that will never happen!!!

idk i gotta change my life around start off fresh and stick to everything that i do!! i mean i want to do sooooooo many things but i never do nothing ever happens i dont go through with anything... and for me not doing what i want 2 do its effecting everything i do!!!

well im gunna go im tired

(no subject)

Aug. 11th, 2004 | 11:36 pm
mood: sick sick

there were times i knew but i found it
hard to say you were special in my life
i never thought you'd ever gO away ..


well 2day was crazy leanne got a flat and had to call aaa twice bc she missed them the first time lol... then i went to play pool with Angela and it was fun we kicked eachothers ass


did i mention i want to get the FUK out of here NOW!!!!!!! damnit!!!

(no subject)

Aug. 9th, 2004 | 01:18 am
mood: stressed stressed
music: coldplay-yellow

this really sux i cant take another minute of this town/state. i just wanna move soo far!!! i just want to get away and never come bak!!!! i mean yea i love the friends i got but its just not good for me here!! i mean im doing nothing with my life and i see it!!! i just need something but i dont kno what it is yet!!

i really want to just leave when im 18 but ill have no money to support myself!! i dont kno i guess it would be possible to get out of here but idk i just dont kno what to do anymore!!!! i need something to motivate me and nothings worked soo far! i just need to get the fuk out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(no subject)

Aug. 6th, 2004 | 12:31 am
mood: determined determined

well i havent really been updating about what iv been doing... mayb thats bc i havent been doing anything...

well i went to NC for a week last week it was fun i got tan... i wish i could move down there i want a beach house so i can go on the beach every morning and just watch the ocean... its just sooo peacefull... theres nothing like that here!!! idk i just thought a lot while i was there and it was great i felt good i just wish i could be there all the time!!!

well when i got bak same stuff nothing new but eh its ok... iv just been soo down lately... i just wish i knew what i wanted... im always trying to get something to make me happy but it just makes me happy for a lil bit... i need to just be happy and stop thinking the way that i do... i need to just be somewhere new i cant stay here!!! i mean school is starting soon and im kinda afraid about that... i hope i can get through it this year and do good and just be happy!!

well idk i just feel like i have soo much inside me that i need to get out and i just feels like its stuck inside me... i mean iv tryed to talk to people but then i feel like im not ready to talk when i kno i am but i just cant get it out...

well i really dont have much to say so im just gunna go and find something 2 do xoxo 


Aug. 4th, 2004 | 10:00 pm
mood: stressed stressed

y cant i do what i want to do... y cant good things happen to me! y cant i get a break from feelin like shit!!!